Between Me n My Reflections

2009-12-04T20:53:00.008+08:00

I am shifting to http://dummypages.livejournal.com/

_____See You There! ____

2009-12-04T02:06:00.001+08:00

currently, i on this book. yawns. Thursday pls come quick. I want to get the test done a.s.a.p.

2009-12-03T15:26:00.004+08:00

It has been so long! Time to update my whereabouts ..

OCTOBER

too busy with assignments and projects for my NIE and SP study. a price to pay for being greedy. hehe. in fact, i am also still working for Lasertag when i have free time to slot in my schedule.

but i am still not yet a rich girl.

NOVEMBER

finally, it's vacation! and this time, Diving in BALI! extra Lasertag deals to work to come out with enough money for spending. All in all, i spent around $700 for the whole trip.

i want to travel again. and i want to save up money for a dslr camera. i think i'm beginning to appreciate beauty more now. and i want to capture it all. hehe.

but now, it's time to get ready for fhd's birthday.

2009-09-23T03:43:00.002+08:00

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

2009-09-17T05:49:00.002+08:00

It's been 6 weeks already. And i'm still struggling. I'm always trying to be positive though. That I am strong enough to handle it all. But,I'm not even sleeping well. yeah... talk about the Basic Needs not met.

And you can't escape the fact that competition is everywhere. With the overzealous tutorial mates around, I dunno how I can find the time and energy to be on track with them.

I've so much to talk about. But my mind's muddled.
Will cont later.
Power nap might be good.

2009-09-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

I want to escape from all the Sleepless nights.

Papercuts.

Blinding eyes.

Brokening self.

I want to lay in silent bliss.
On the cold ground.
There's room for two.

2009-09-08T01:55:00.002+08:00

Lead my heart into a daze
Leaving a void in my heart and soul..

Once again, I'm rushing to meet datelines for assignments. Raya's approching. But I haven't gotten the mood yet. So many things to settle! But all I hope for now is, to have blessed years ahead. Every new Raya means, I successfully go through thick n thin with the bf. And I become a stronger person. Insya-allah.

2009-09-06T02:50:00.004+08:00

Sometimes goodbye is not heartbreaking afterall....

2009-09-03T22:44:00.000+08:00

Despite being super jaded, I still made my way to Starbucks (I'm so needing JavaChip!!) after breaking my fast. Had a bittersweet conversation with him. As usual, about us. Maybe I have to accept the fact that, the issue on marriage is still far from my priority list. It's not that I want to quickly settle down, it's just that I still wonder, where we are heading to. With him being stingy on expressions, and me getting anxious because of that, it sure does drain the energy off my brain, in some way. But then again, I'm happy with my life right now. Good school. Fun classmates. Confidante. Bliss is still mine.

2009-09-02T22:21:00.000+08:00

Jialat la..
So many things to do, the hours seem shorter day by day. I work best at night, but suffer most during day time. I'm cOffee deprived during the day, and it's super hard to psych yourself up to stay awake for almost 10 hours.

Recently, I started giving tuition to a P3 boy. I didn't know he's erm.. dyslexic. I'm not diagnosing him, but I know something is wrong with him. So.. it so called adding to my pain. Lectures during the day, practical lesson in the evening.

Let's take it with a pinch of salt. I'm given the opportunity to learn. Accept it.

2009-08-31T11:09:00.000+08:00

Pernahkah kau bicara
Tapi tak di dengar
Tak di anggap sama sekali..
Pernahkan kau tak salah
Tapi disalahkan
Tak di beri kesempatan..

2009-08-25T06:44:00.002+08:00

Tired. Life's taking its toll on me. With 2 schools to attend day and night and still survive, I need a pat on my back. Sigh. I hope it all ends good for me.
I thought I told myself, no more schooling and exams once I'm out of NUS.
Oh well, Never say Never.
I need a breather. And a punching bag too.
N I still wonder what I'm getting myself into.

2009-08-17T22:28:00.000+08:00

Reminds us of many..
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/ap/20090814/twl-us-facebook-jealousy-ef375f8.html

2009-08-11T18:19:00.004+08:00

Rimas. Aku Rimas.

Titisan air mata dari pipi ke bumi

Pernah kah kau peduli....

2009-08-09T02:56:00.002+08:00

Though you're still with me

I've been alone all along...

2009-08-03T02:33:00.000+08:00

I wish I could spread my hand like a net, and catch the coming stars.
I wish they could be mine.
And stay mine.

Mencintaimu membunuh keangkuhanku...

2009-07-29T16:42:00.002+08:00

Take your time to answer me

For the beauty of romancing..

Is to calm your trembling hand with mine,

Under the shade, beneath the tangerine sky.

2009-07-24T12:32:00.002+08:00

They are away. Miles away. I'm holding back my tears. Not sure because of what. Am I sad because I'm left alone, or am I fearful to face the upcoming days without a shoulder to seek solitude on?

and I pray, for time to fly fast. So I'll be back with whom I should be with. and it's time to cherish them too.

i don't want to be the only one
who's feeling lonely
standing faceless in a crowd
anonymous,
for i can't be proud of falling into solitude

2009-07-17T15:41:00.001+08:00

They say time heal all wounds, but I guess in some cases, they get deepen with time.

2009-07-16T04:29:00.002+08:00

Cursed eyes are never closing.
Cursed sleep.
I cried and felt my legs failed.

This is my 3rd night waking up for no reason at 4am. I have no idea why. But am I suffering from insomnia? I want to have an indisturbed sleep, my body is giving way. I'm getting more fragile. Sigh.

Playing SIMS 3 is the answer to accompany my sleepless nights for now.

2009-07-13T14:15:00.000+08:00

Commencement 2009.
Finally. I'm officially a graduate.

2009-07-11T22:56:00.000+08:00

Noy got engaged today. It was an indeed a small ceremony. I was hOnoured when she trusted me on beautifying her. I did what I could, haha, and the outcome, according to mum and darL, was that, we both look similar. Haha. Ok Noy, get a certified Mak Andam for your make up on your wedding day ok!

2009-07-10T11:42:00.002+08:00

Falling ill. Was having little sneezes since this morning. Thanks to darL who was already sick for the past 3 days. But temperature's fine and safe. So we are safe. =) I can't bear the thought of getting stuck at home for 7 full days. Hurr..

Still counting down the days to my mini freedom. Singapore's getting boring. I need something larger than life. More than just 6-7 hrs of work and 2-3hrs rotting at home watching TV, catching my breath after the day at work.

Tmr gonna be a memorable day for me. My buddy is getting engaged. And I'm honoured to be involved in the preparations.
Ok that is all.

where's my sentimental alibi.. ?

2009-07-06T23:45:00.001+08:00

Watched Transformers at City Square. I'll give it a rating of 4.5 / 5. 0.5 is due to my envy for Megan Fox. I got my answer on why boys go ga-ga over her. Heh. 'Nuff said. Other than that, I would not mind watching it for the 2nd time.

But now, I need to find someone who bother to spend some 3 hrs watching 'New York' with me.
Hurrr...

2009-07-05T02:28:00.002+08:00

My eyes hurt , hands shiver..
13th July, will be my Commencement Ceremony. Finally, I'll officially graduate. BIG Phew!
And the following month, I'll enter NIE. Time to really focus on my career. =)
But apart from that, too many people are getting married, got married, got enggaged. You name it. It's all about giving their relationships a Name. And I wonder for myself. After 4 years, I am still unsure about a lot of things.

Kepastian.

That is all I want. I need. I desire.

Ku akui kesalahan ku

Selalu ingin memiliki

Dan engkau pun tak pernah terbuka

Untuk menghalang segala prasangka..

2009-07-04T11:04:00.000+08:00

In my mind is where we meet every night,
Touching your face
Invading your space.
Lonely's gettin' old,
I need you to hold
Let's relive it all over again..

2009-07-01T16:12:00.002+08:00

i got a smile, it's just the wrong side of happy..

As a matter of fact, I am getting real tired of trying to make sure things go my way.

Maybe it's time to let go and let things go their own way.

All I needed is for you to see that you have been an ignorant ... too long.

I swallowed my pride too many times, hoping you'll look at me.

But too many times, you just looked through me.

.. and my heart weeps again.

2009-06-30T13:23:00.002+08:00

2nd day of the 3rd term.

I do not think the term 'time flies' suits anymore. It's faster than simply flying!
But all in all, I'm contented thinking back on the things I've accomplished during my June Holiday break.

Managed to take time off, and I mean, truly it is a break from the normal busy routine. Rendezvous to Tioman. I got my diving license. Of course, that was never in my resolution list, since I cannot swim, but managed to learn it just in time before I set off for the 5-day course.

Work is piling up now. And, end of July, I'll be out of my current workplace, to be a student again. =) Darn, I've been a student for the past... erm, almost 20 years?? Geez.

And my best friend, is settling down soon. I'm happy for her, but I wonder for myself too.
For all that I've been through with the same man for the past 4-5 years, I hope it's all worth the wait and patience.

Amin.

2009-06-26T19:54:00.001+08:00

Could something that looked so wrong on the outside turn out to be undeniably right?

2009-05-07T13:47:00.002+08:00

Headache 1
CA in coming in 2-3 weeks time. Have to start sleeping late again. Just like the old days. The old days when I thought 2008 will be the year I'm done and over with school.
I'm tired actually.

Headache 2
And I wonder if I should still continue with what I am doing now and go for something better.
What do people care for actually?
Money or Passion?

2009-05-05T00:56:00.001+08:00

When Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say.......

my endless interior monologue.

2009-05-01T17:48:00.002+08:00

I'm now working as a Special Needs Officer for the in a primary school.
Many asked? Why this job?

- It gives me lower pay that I should be getting.
- It has got nothing to do with what I've studied in schOOl for the past 4 years.

My answer:

- I'm still wondering why.
- But so far, I enjoy and look forward to coming to work everyday. No matter how sleepy I am. Heh.
- It's been a month. I haven't thought of quitting it like how I felt for my last job.
- So maybe, this is the job that I love. Heh.

I've been observing many of these studets for the past month. And it really make me think and decipher what they really have in their minds, because for some of these kids, they don't talk.

They just smile.
They just giggle.
They just stare at you.
I want to decipher all that.

Someone with Asperger’s really is like you, just more extreme.
- Dr. Winnie Dunn

2009-03-28T20:28:00.002+08:00

How can I not miss you, what do i tell my heart.

2009-03-01T23:08:00.001+08:00

I was crying yesterday. And I was telling myself the reason I did so had nothing to do with the fact that even when I wasn't trying, all I did was let people down.

2009-02-25T02:08:00.002+08:00

stomach knotting

penantian tanpa balas - siksa

laying in stillness

bersabar dan mengalah

lethal injection

pencari Mu

terbayang dalam firasat

makbulkan lah hasrat

my broken punctuations..

2009-02-03T15:15:00.003+08:00

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wished i didn't wish so hard
Maybe i wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart...

Oh my soul is dying,
it's crying..
I'm trying to understand
Please help me

2009-01-28T00:10:00.002+08:00

My heart's crippled by the vein
And nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace.

See you soon, darling.

2009-01-24T12:31:00.001+08:00

Kau lah saksi bisu penderitaan ku.

2009-01-23T02:48:00.002+08:00

And so, I went back to work as a part time lifeskill coach / facilitator in schools. I love those jobs thOugh I know I will never a fantastic speaker. Anyway, the last 2 days, I had coaching at Pasir Ris Crest Sec. Thanks to bf, he was willing to send me there.

Got to reach the school by 7am. (0_0)

Honestly speaking, I prefered coaching in Pri schools. Maybe because, I engage better with young kids and I enjoy their company.

More importantly, I managed to spend those 8 working hours with gOOd company of frens. Knowing them. Learning things from them. Well, something like that lar.

FRIDAY
Back to the 'I-am-so-free-I-dunno-what-else-to-do' day.

and luckily for me, bf is having his off day. =)
wee.

2009-01-14T23:07:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 24th!

The goOd thing is that, I'm a year older, a year wiser.. erm. Haha.
The Not so GoOd thing is that, things havent changed much for me. I need a job. Hehe.

Anyway...

Celebration wise, I dun usually get oNe specially for myself, cuz my mum's birthdays is always 2 days earlier than mine. So we celebrate it together. Advanced one for me of course! =)

11th Jan.
Family Outing.
Ong Bak II @ VIVO

13th Jan.
Me n Mum
JP
SHOPPING!!!

14th Jan
Me n Bf
JB
SHOPPING!!

Mum got me Body Shop stuffs.
Sis got my an EVERLAST watch and vouchers.
Bf got me a Samsung hp.

Yup. That was all. Simple. But it made me smiled nonetheless. =) Gracias!

2009-01-08T01:52:00.001+08:00

Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.

Never wanted it to be so cold.

I can't hold on to me,

Wonder what's wrong with me.

Here in the darkness I know myself.

I forgive you after all.

Anything is better than to be alone.

2009-01-05T22:25:00.002+08:00

I'M DONE WITH MY 1ST FULL TIME JOB.

I thought I could adapt to doing something I know I wouldnt like.
I thought I could learn to change my own perception.

And so I thought.
So to make long story short, I quitted, before they kick me out. (o_O)

So now...
I am happily out of job.

And now I truly believe, work atmosphere do play a part in your working life.

I just hope my next episode, will be a better one.

2009-01-01T20:20:00.000+08:00

MY NYE CELEBRATION

I slept the whole afternoon after coming back from work at 3pm. Then in the evening, made my way to darl's NPC and waited for him till he ended work. erm.... 1hour of wait. (o_O).

By 1015 he was done with work, and we made our way to cuppage centre for Karaoke with some frens. We didnt catch the fireworks this time round, but I sure had lots of fun. =)

Then, went to FongSeng for supper. haha. yeah, at 2plus.
By 3 plus when I reached home. Lepak tros.

Hello, 2009. Hello, 24.

2008-12-29T14:24:00.002+08:00

I took 3 MCs for this month. I fell sick, surprisingly quite often this month. Sick.. erm, sick of.. erm. (o_o)

Anyway, I will be going back to NUS to collect my transcript tmr. That should be a sign for a better 2009 for me.

My sole resolution next year? Start proper saving, cuz then it'll save me big time.

Da tu je nak cakap.

2008-12-14T23:26:00.000+08:00

SaturdaY....

Went out with Dayah to cure 'heartbreak'. Haha. Ok.. I dun mean THAT heartbreak. Bf had to go for deployment due to ZoukOut when I thought I could've spent the saturday with him. Anywayyy... I still enjoyed my Saturday because, me n Dayah watched the latest SRK movie at JP. Beams. Excitement. Haha. Well, despite the fact the ticket was $11!!!

SundaY....

Finally, met up with bf!! Hmmm.. went to JP again. But it didnt matter to me since it meant I was able to shop again! Well, I did eventually. A pair of jeans and and some health stuff from GNC.

Apart from that, got a call from my past employer and my tutee. Not sure if I should cont with my part time job next year. Although it will mean my weekend will burn, it will also mean more $$ inside my pocket. Sigh. 2 more weeks to think before I give my answer to them.

OK. mintak diri dulu. =)

2008-12-09T19:24:00.000+08:00

This is my 3rd week working for my 1st full time job. Things are going ok for me so far, although it's not the job I've been dreaming of all these years. But then again, people do change, when situation changes. I quitted the thought of just waiting for the good opportunity to come by. Let's agree on the old saying 'rezeki jangan ditolak'. So for now.. yeah, I'm contented being a Marketing Exec in a magazine distributor company. And for now, I'm busy with co-ordinating events with schools.

I'm truly beginning to treasure my weekends now.

All in all, things are still the same,
But do tell me when there're changes.....

2008-11-27T20:17:00.000+08:00

Microscopic bacteria
They upset me.
I wish they'd pack their tiny little bags and move away.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh...chooo!

2008-11-23T18:33:00.000+08:00

I'm not too lost to be saved.
My God- My tourniquet.
Dun deny me, please.

Amin.

2008-11-16T19:12:00.001+08:00

Some things are just beyond our control. And I get really scared knowing the fact. When you get the things you never dreamt of, you wonder if tt's the game of fate. Blessing in disguise?

I got a job I never thought I would get involved in.
I live a life full of doubts of people around, especially the closer ones.
I kept wondering if he's the one for me, despite all the love.

I'm beginning to doubt my own shadow.

I'm talking nonsense. But I just want some clarity in life. That's all.

kepada yang tercinta
inginnya ku mengeluh
semua resah di diri
mencari jawab pasti

2008-11-12T18:47:00.002+08:00

Gosh. Havent been updating. But life's been kind to me so far. I got my long awaited Genting-KL love getaway with the loved one(s).

Now, I'm just looking forward to starting work soon. Will update bout tt later.

2008-10-28T02:56:00.000+08:00

there will always be..
a day in your life when you meet someone whom wish you hadn't,
a day in your life when u meet the right person but at the wrong time,
a day in your life when u meet someone whom you've stopped wanting to meet,

and i really really hate those days....

2008-10-20T01:04:00.000+08:00

It's been a very long time since my last update.

Many things happened, and I'm still waiting for the moment when I dun have to worry about mundane things.. like, waking up late for work, or having to meet datelines, or even having energy all drained out tolerating the younger generation.

Anyway, of all the days I looked forward to in October, it was the jalan raya with bf and frens..

2008-10-15T23:15:00.000+08:00

Worrying is boring
It'll get the best of you
Worrying is boring
It's not something you should do.

Jaded. Yet again.

2008-09-22T01:59:00.001+08:00

See you Soonest!!!

sejauh mungkin,
tempat (yang) terindah,
(hanya) tercipta untukku..

2008-09-21T22:54:00.001+08:00

Thanks Dayah!

Well, Sunday was pretty alright for me. Had tuition at Bedok till 5pm then went home for buka with family. Well, the plan was actually to watch movie in the evening, but.. ManU game was on at 9pm. Hm.. still understanding the rationale of soccer-comes-first. Haha. But managed to get him to acc me do grocery shopping at Sheng Siong nearby home. That's wat neighbours are for. Gotong-royong. =p

Currently, been indulging myself with junk food and dvds till late night. Penat giler ah during the day...

Yeay, raya's coming. Excitement.

2008-09-10T18:14:00.000+08:00

Finally....

(A)
I started thinking of finding a proper job and stop running around doing random jobs.
It all started when I just got tired ( I dunno exactly when), of doing all these freelance jobs.
Been cancelling tuition to spend more time for myself.
Been waking up late and I had to lie to cover my a**. Bosan!
Some are fun, but then again, the idea of running here and there, just makes me feel so unhealthy, sick, tired and apa2 la that means the same.

(1) Join NIE - mak aku nak!
(2) Pre-school teacher - diploma needed
(3) SPF - nak jadi 'inspector sahab' la.
(4) .......

Will update again cum December!

(B)
No more maths enrichment class at Gongshang Primary.
Thanks to Yani, I have a fren to b**** about our erm, opportunist employer.
Haha.
And of course, no more travelling from Clementi - Tampines!

Hmm..
to think again, I'm missing school life.
That's wat I call carefree.
Yup.

2008-09-09T13:23:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling ... no, I am disoriented now. =(

2008-09-08T01:02:00.000+08:00

Went to soak in the atmosphere at Geylang Bazaar just now.
Something ironical bout everything there that I noticed.
You go. You decide.

2008-08-31T23:34:00.000+08:00

Night Safari

Just a short getaway from my busy schedule.

Getting sick of Town.

2008-08-29T23:15:00.001+08:00

My Happy Pills

2008-08-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

Thank you. Appreciated. =)

2008-08-27T00:33:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wish that I can stand here and fade away.
Invisibility would be great.

2008-08-26T02:55:00.000+08:00

The fool in me
It's like a dream, you see
But if the world is right..
I'll drive all night
And meet you there someday..

2008-08-22T23:22:00.000+08:00

Had preskool IT class at noon. But I was still in my room at 11am. So took a cab.

"uncle, go chong pang ah"
"erm, yishun there ah?"
" ya, near the CC there, block 701."
"ok. go which way ah?"
"hmm, go mandai there la. use BKE."

By then I already had a bad feeling that he might not know his way there.
Nvm, let's just hope things will go ok. Afterall, it's only 1110am. Stiil early, even if he got lost a lil' bit.

Crap. He took the wrong turn out of BKE and went into Mandai camp.

"erm,uncle, u shud turn right la, not left."
"tsk.. oh ok ok."

But then, I dunno wat happened, he went into the expressway again. Sigh. Bad sign. Nampak sah, he was going back to where I got the taxi from!

1130. I landed up in Jurong West. =(
Never got so restless before.
..... I saw BKE again, yeay.
But he went straight towards Woodlands, Johor route and into SLE.
I swore I could cry any moment. I gave up.
Time: 1145.

1200. omg.
I reached the carpark of blk 701.
The fare I saw, $34.80

"usually how much u pay for yishun ah?"
"only $15"
"ah, ok la.. u just pay me $15. Sorry sorry."

One hour taxi trip with full of suspense and watever u call it, I think I better start waking up early now.
Phobia sak!!

2008-08-20T03:26:00.000+08:00

Sentosa Bliss.

I had my normal teambuildin game facilitating at Sentosa,except that, after work, it was a full day jalan-jalan around the island with bf. Well, it's been almost a year since we last went there together, erm, that day when our stuffs got stolen and how he swore not to come back there again. Hehehe.

But it was somehow raining, so we decided to visit Images Of Singapore. My first visit was with Hidayah, and I'm so in love with that place. Haha. OK. Just enjoy the pics.

2008-08-13T00:00:00.001+08:00

3 years ago we found each other, in our own little village.
To many more years of togetherness......

2008-08-09T23:22:00.001+08:00

It's not the sun I'm trying to find, it's just something else on my mind.
Leaving me to face another Monday, it wun be easy to get by.
Just give me the space and time to breakaway..
I wanna go back to My Little Town.

2008-08-08T23:11:00.000+08:00

How I spent my 08-08-08...

Smiles.

2008-08-06T00:51:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired.
I need to rest and be away from all that's stopping me from breathing easily.
Time's flying so fast.
Hey, I'm done with skool, I'm supposed tO be enjoying my life!
Got burnt out before, but I never learnt my lesson.
Nothing is free..
Nothing lasts forever though,
All will get better in time..
sigh.

2008-08-04T00:52:00.001+08:00

Meet me halfway down the road,
you dun have to walk the whole stretch of path with me,
I just wanna see you.. cuz it makes me smile.
Even for a minute, it matters....
Just a moment, with no awareness,
I could easily slip away
And be gone forever..
Forgive me.

Yours Truly,
Juzailah

2008-07-30T00:45:00.000+08:00

I would stop running
If I knew there was a chance
and when memories fade into emptiness
Only time will tell its tale
Even if all has been in vain

I'm frozen but what can I do?

2008-07-27T22:06:00.000+08:00

my inamorato ..

2008-07-23T23:35:00.000+08:00

WEDNESDAY-FIASCO

I lost my voice again today. And I thought, the sore throat was going to heal. Sigh. Thanks to some uncorporative kids out there. Is it just them who are just uncontrollable, or is it me, who should know better how to handle the problem?

Anyway, I decided to take MC tmr and not come for IT lesson at Woodlands childcare. I dun wanna risk being completely mute by the end of the week. =p

I'm sinking down so low I can never be found again...

2008-07-22T02:55:00.000+08:00

I just lost my voice. But I hope I can resume work on Wed. It sucks. I can't teach properly now.

Have some composure
Where's my posture?
I wanna pull the trigger.

2008-07-15T22:11:00.000+08:00

I love my job.

2008-07-13T19:44:00.001+08:00

Finally met up with my girls again. Another unplanned outing though. Just so I wasnt feeling too well for work. And my students were involved with NE show, which meant I could watch the fireworks, which I did.

2008-07-12T10:34:00.000+08:00

Thank you for the hearts and flowers.

2008-07-07T23:58:00.000+08:00

Today me n homeboy went out bike-less. Sometimes, I like it this way better. It's just the spending quality time thing I guess. Reworking the clay of the relationship.
Anyway, I was out the whole day, from home to Yishun then to Bedok for work, before heading to Bugis for dinner. Getting sick of this going ard the whole island but guess tt's life for me now till end of year. Heh. Tried to sound breezy and comfortable bout the the whole thing when people ask about my whereabouts now, but then again... oh well. At the end of each day, seems like I just got myself done from Bad-Hair-Eternity-Saloon.

Professional Hazard.

2008-07-02T03:46:00.000+08:00

My concession pass finally expired.
Bosan.
And I'm still working everywhere but my hometown and anywhere near. I'm getting busier nowadays being an educator ( tt's just to summarise all the different things I do everyday. ) Basically, life is still the same for me post-uni life; except that I dun have to go for classes, but looking at the number of times I attend skool last semester, they seemed insignificant. But I still miss skool. I miss my student life.
And most importantly, I miss my concession pass.

2008-06-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

Just because you keep something a secret, doesn't mean it never happened, no matter how much you want them to be true.

Tearful recollection.

2008-06-28T19:10:00.000+08:00

I live life without pretending

I’m a sucker for happy ending!!

Sit under the tangerine sky and share the moon with me, will you..?

2008-06-24T17:37:00.000+08:00

I wanted freedom
but I'm restricted
I tried to give you up
but I'm addicted

Jaded.
It's been the same old working hours every week.
I want something new.
But guess I can't.

2008-06-09T23:26:00.000+08:00

The days go very fast,
I'm still stuck in this moment, of wanting everything to stay.
So many times I've tried to spill my heart out,
They just turn away
My life is changing so fast now,
It's leaving me lonely and afraid
Still, I know I've got to find,
Some kind of peace of mind...

2008-06-05T16:15:00.000+08:00

Everyone's born with a ragged edge, and like most people, I crave for my piece that's a perfect fit. I hope I do not have to take forever to find it.

2008-06-03T01:19:00.000+08:00

For many days I was lost in my own thoughts. Today itself, I did not know which way to go, let alone what to do or how to think. And I've been using my insomnia to fuel my train of thoughts, to make sure things go the way they should, productively. But on most nights, I ended up drifting into a dreamless sleep with the strange feeling that I am tumbling deep into a pit. Sigh. Boredom. I'm dazed with fatique actually.

But I love certain days of my life. Days which brought me laughter and loads of smiles. Days when I felt I was not alone. Days when there was not a lack of conversation. Physical and spiritual consolation. And for the certain short hours spent during those days, it's enough to give me a happy ending.

Maafkan bila ku tak sempurna, cinta ini tak mungkin ku cegah..

2008-06-02T00:16:00.000+08:00

si Pecinta Wanita
an amusing mystery to me
still, I entertained a desire to see him again.

2008-05-31T22:42:00.000+08:00

I've got many things to do despite me having many free hours to practically just roam around Singapore. There's work and more work to find. Hm, $$'s running low, considering I finally decided to invest money on something beneficial for my future. Erm, no, it's not getting married. Something else. Will update later though. But again, I can never stop myself from spending. Der's GSS and I need a big closet soon. Been going out with mum quite a lot for the past few days, because both of us can never get tired from shopping. =)

Anyone else wanna join me?

2008-05-24T21:48:00.000+08:00

Hello hello. My computer crashed again. Bosan. I really need to save up for a new one. Updates about me? Heh. I wish. I'm still pretty much a homer. There's still tuition and work for me, but that was all. Boring but blissful. I feel tucked inside a protective shell. Never felt so relax before. Hehe. I wanna meet my busy girlfriends. I wanna jalan2. And talk all afternoon while having cake and coffee. Or watch sappy movies which will end up only in me crying. Heh. Ok. and I wanna go on holidays. Do you hear me?

But for now there's homeboy to walk with me, where the path's lovelier than the destination we're heading to.

2008-05-13T14:48:00.000+08:00

Been a while, since my last entry. I'm still enjoying my out-of-school days. Just got back from my getaway at Bintan. Will upload pics later.
(",)

I've nothing much to say now, since most of my days now were just spent rotting at home. Hee. See you next entry!

2008-05-08T03:26:00.000+08:00

Post-exam Day 0. I Love them. =)

2008-04-30T19:30:00.000+08:00

How can I pretend that I don't see what you hide so carelessly...

2008-04-27T00:11:00.002+08:00

Love you Loads. I do. I do.

2008-04-26T11:47:00.001+08:00

Selamat tengahari Dunia!

One paper doNe, Three more to go. I'm rather drained out now actually. Sleep deprivation is one thing. Hmm. And there's the kupu-kupu-dalam-perut sicKness still hitting me. Especially for the next 2 papers. Heh. Sigh,but guess I should not say a word of discontentment. Soon, I'll be out of school, forever.. (almost). But then again, I'm just jaded. JADED.

Show me the shadow where true meaning lies, so much more is made in empty eyes. And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall, so pour real life down on me....

2008-04-25T02:28:00.000+08:00

Evening tuition.
Kisah cinta. Frust!

student: Kakak, tadi something happened. Nowadays kan, I kept going to school with S*** tau.
me: Oh, your classmate tu..
student: Ya la, then u know, just now R**** saw me n S*** walked to school together. Then kan, she sms-ed me, tanye siapa ah. You know la.. asked this, asked that.
me: But you guys da together ke?
student: tak ah, still friends, but we talk every night.
me: ok. so wat's the prob now? as if u takde lots of female frens.
student: haha. erm, you think R**** like me tak? erm, dia jealous eh?
me: ala.. maybe, anyway, korang asyik bual2 every night, then suddenly dia nampak kau dgn org lain. mesti la curious.
student: .......

Budak-budak sekarang ni. Girlfriend sana. Girlfriend sini. Tsk-tsk.

2008-04-23T23:31:00.000+08:00

Hibernating at Starbucks Holland V.

2008-04-22T11:35:00.001+08:00

After 2 years, I finally made the school library as my study port. The last time I remembered mugging inside library was during my 2nd year, when that mat-intelligent-slacker offered to coach me with some Finance module. Hehe. Today itself was a record. Reached skool at 9am. winks. Haha. Despite me going back late again yesterday, after meeting the 'geng' again at town. 10 of us. Hmm, will update about that later. Malas nak upload pictures. If the rest didn't have deployment and work, maybe we get to go home a lil' later. Haha. But then again, I need to study. And I was the only one still schooling among them. Padahal sume sama umur. 'Generation' gap ah. Heh. I'm gonna start counting down to this coming Saturday. My 1st paper. Hm. For now, I'm gonna hibernate.

Looking forward to my rendezvous soon.
'terbayang dalam firasat, termakbul lah hasrat...'

2008-04-20T23:10:00.003+08:00

If the heart is always searching, can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that special someone,
I'll never make it on my own.
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true...

2008-04-19T03:34:00.000+08:00

Take your time to realise. I'm on your side. Didn't I tell you.
Take your time to realise. This all can pass you by.
But I can't spell it out for you.
No, it's never gonna be that simple.
No I can't spell it out for you...

2008-04-18T14:44:00.000+08:00

You didn't get past something like that, yout got through it - and for that simple reason alone,I understand things more than others would have guessed.

I woke up late today. I tried to study but was very distracted by what I found out earlier in the evening. Seems like I'm losing another confidant. So, I decided to meet up with dahraf and made my way to Bugis to meet some bachelor frens who were having sisha session der. Well, I was just der to enjoy the company and the lil' bonding session, with their rotten jokes and all. Then, went for dinner. Hm. sheesh. can't believe I'm actually lepak-ing.

3am. *pengsan-ed*

I'm doing ok now but I wanna go boneless and slide away from everything, everyone.

2008-04-17T22:10:00.001+08:00

You could do a horrible thing, and then spend your whole natural life trying to atone.
I knew that better than anyone.
I need my creature comforts. Come into my life.
Because for now, it's just me, plus none.